Weekly Bites #7: WE'VE GOT REAL GRASS AND Wait...what happened to #6?

OUF! Boy, I slept through my alarm for last week's deadline and just woke up now...sorry guys.

Here they are! You're Weekly Bites:

• Very marketable win last week vs. the Chicago Fire. That being said, the highlight reel goals and saves don't tell the real story of the match in my opinion. Movement off the ball was an issue again, until Drogba came on. Our front lines have a tendency to wait for the ball carrier to make a decision before they move anywhere, rather than finding the space and having the ball carrier find them. But let's be honest, another road win? Who are these guys? Maybe not the most entertaining match, but somewhat ugly wins are more than welcome. [CTV][Gazette][FOX][MLS][NBC]

• Mandatory Lloyd Barker article...*drool* [Gazette]

• Can you believe it? We are now back on grass. [TSN]

• A situation that no one really wants to live through: online sextortion. It's been the achilles heel of several high profile athletes, and I can't overstate how much I am glad the Impact stepped up to protect their player. Our own promising rookie, Michael Salazar, was put in a tough spot after having explicit photos of himself get in the hands of blackmailers. The Montreal Police got involved, and have handled the situation incredibly well. Salazar has been given a few weeks off to relax now that his rod & tackle are not being posted on the front page of MRS. Phew. [Gazette]

• After the world class showing of the Canadian Mens U20 squad in England, it seems an Impact asset is being watched by EPL giants. Chelsea, Arsenal and Manchester City have scouted our boy Ballou Jean-Yves Tabla. The 18 year-old FC Montreal midfielder had an assist in the aforementioned match, and has been proclaimed to be a very highly skilled prospect. Will he get a chance in the top flight? On which continent? [MLS][ESPN][MRS]

• Tomorrow's showdown against Toronto FC has been circled on our calendar since last years playoffs. However, the Impact seemed to have forgotten, and not sent out the season ticket packages it so desperately has been trying to sell. Leaving several fans complaining on social media, the team has scrambled to get the packages out. Supposedly due to a technical delay at the printing company, some may have to pick up their tickets at will-call before tomorrow's match. On another note, the team increased season ticket sales from 6900 last year, to 9000 this year. That is fantastic news. [CJAD]

• The MRS writing staff have concluded a weeklong debate on what the 401 derby should ACTUALLY be named. A many of of you know, the 401 doesn't actually exist in Quebec, as it turns into the 20 at the border. So what do we call it then? The Square Head Derby? The St Lawrence Showdown? We've decided that the name most reflective of the political and cultural tension is the Two Solitudes Derby. I know, it's deep. But run with it, we're bitter.

• I don't think I have been as excited for a match since last years playoffs, or even the CCL. The TWO SOLITUDES DERBY is the climax of several great storylines: redemption for last years playoffs, Drogba's return home, the home opener, the top quality of both XI's, top of the East, and a new bag check policy that is surely to piss off the Ultras. [MLS]

• Oduro?! TRASHTALK?! [HS]

• The MLS.com team did a great little exposé on Laurent Ciman, his family and his reasons for moving to the MLS. Truly touching and well produced, it's a long watch but we'll worth it. [MLS] They also did a longread on Didier Drogba's career. [MLS]

• Speaking of the TWO SOLITUDES DERBY, here are all the links you'll need to prep you for the upcoming battle of the East. As a bonus, it's a sell out crowd! 5 out of the past 6 home games have been sell-outs. [MLS][Gazette][TSN][Gazette][MRS][MRS][MRS][Waking the Red][CTV]

• I love this story. Joey Saputo *swoon* met the damn pope. I mean, just think of that. Our dear leader, Joey Bologna, met THE pope. Not only did he meet him, he spoke to him about the Impact and shared a moment about a certain Argentinian we have on our team. Ignaccio Piatti played for the Pope's favorite cub, San Lorenzo. Our dear leader brought along a jersey, signed by Nacho, as a gift for His Holiness. They shared a smile. This also answers the question from two weeks ago of why Joey spoke to Piatti on the field during training: he needed his signature on the jersey. [IMPACT]

• GSP will be ringing the bell on Saturday. Doesn't he need to stay inside in a dark room, and be away from loud noises? I respect the guy, but doesn't he believe in aliens? [MLS]

• Impact Media and MLS have put out a handful of fantastic videos this past week. Just drink it in, they deserve an award for all these. You've got the regular DCV, a preview to the home opener (WITH THE FOX!), and highlights of Drogba's MLS career. As a bonus bite, you get Erik Kronberg doing his best  Scott Sterling impression. And those, ladies and gents, are your weekly bites. We'll see you at Saputo tomorrow!