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Weekly Bites #1: Silly Synthetic Green Carpets

Here are your Weekly Bites on the Impact and news around the league, including links on Harry Shipp, a CCL anniversary, and the drama that follows Didier Drogba.

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Princess Drogba doesn't like playing on turf, say's it hurts his old princess knees.
Princess Drogba doesn't like playing on turf, say's it hurts his old princess knees.
The Canadian Press

Every Friday/Saturday, I’ll be posting a quick recap of the previous week’s mentions of the squad and anything else Impact related. Some of you actually have to work, rather than crawl the interwebs looking for the faintest mention of Marco Donadel’s Charlie-Brown-like bad luck, or Laurent Ciman’s always-rumored-but-never-witnessed happy face. So, I do it for you.


It’s time to lift up those scarves…or, actually, just keep the damn scarf on. It’s freakin’ cold outside. Why do we start in March again?

Here they are, your weekly bites:

  • KAN FC got out their whiteboards and X's & O's to show you the potential team tactics ahead of this weekend's clash vs. the Vancouver Whitecaps. [KAN FC]
  • Last month’s acquisition of Harry Shipp is still pissing off a huge swath of the Chicago Fire fan base. Judging by the ongoing presence in the MLS media, this storyline is going to follow our highly skilled youngster throughout the season and the minimum of two fixtures against his old squad. Shipp himself is finding ways to get over the wound. [MONTREAL GAZETTE]

  • Italian Football Daily just released their third instalment of their exclusive interview with Mr. Yellow himself, Marco Donadel. [ITALIAN FOOTBALL DAILY]
  • The story of the week revolved around our prized thoroughbred Didier Drogba. The drama continues, after the rollercoaster off-season debate of "Will he stay or will he go", with the news that DD won't be playing the first few games due to turf. His hesitance when faced with the silly synthetic surface is nothing new, but the media had a heyday only made worse by how they've felt ignored by our star forward. Drogba did what he could to quell the aggressive interrogation he faced at the Press Conference on Thursday. However, nothing could stop clueless Kurtis Larson of the Toronto Sun from writing it up that the Ivorian is just a princess for being afraid of some green carpets. This is why we can't have nice things. [TORONTO SUN]
  • As an added bit of entertainment, before the press conference, Drogba was joined by a couple of Italian comedians who dressed him up like a pimp and asked him for money. We need to hire an Italian translator:

On va laisser ça ici puis... Voilà Didier Drogba en mode après-match de scrum média

Posted by Kan Football Club on Thursday, March 3, 2016
  • A year ago this week, we all got to live the miracle that is Cameron Porter’s right foot in the final minute of the CCL Quarterfinal v. Pachuca. Great interview with the ‘Boy From Princeton’ and video of the moment. [IMPACT MEDIA]
  • We are almost ready to kick off the first weekend of MLS action in 2016. So here are a few season previews for you to completely disagree with. Where do you think the talking heads placed the Impact in their rankings?

SB Nation 2016 MLS Preview

TSN MLS First Kick 2016: Previewing Canada’s Teams

Sportsnet 2016 MLS Preview

Sports Illustrated MLS Ambition Rankings: Montreal Impact 2016 MLS Preview: Montreal Impact Armchair Analyst Montreal Impact Preview

And those, ladies and gentlemen, are your weekly bites.