Weekly Bites #1: Silly Synthetic Green Carpets

Every Friday/Saturday, I’ll be posting a quick recap of the previous week’s mentions of the squad and anything else Impact related. Some of you actually have to work, rather than crawl the interwebs looking for the faintest mention of Marco Donadel’s Charlie-Brown-like bad luck, or Laurent Ciman’s always-rumored-but-never-witnessed happy face. So, I do it for you.

WEEKLY BITES

It’s time to lift up those scarves…or, actually, just keep the damn scarf on. It’s freakin’ cold outside. Why do we start in March again?

Here they are, your weekly bites:

• KAN FC got out their whiteboards and X's & O's to show you the potential team tactics ahead of this weekend's clash vs. the Vancouver Whitecaps. [KAN FC]

• Last month’s acquisition of Harry Shipp is still pissing off a huge swath of the Chicago Fire fan base. Judging by the ongoing presence in the MLS media, this storyline is going to follow our highly skilled youngster throughout the season and the minimum of two fixtures against his old squad. Shipp himself is finding ways to get over the wound. [MONTREAL GAZETTE]

• Caserne Letourneux, a dilapidated fire station on the Montreal waterfront, has been rumoured for years to be the site of the future Academy training facility. Last Thursday, the City of Montreal agreed to a 350 000$ investment, signalling that the project looks to be commencing shortly. After all the raves it used to host, it's a bit of a fixer-upper. [RDS]

• Michael Salazar, the Impact’s 2^nd 2016 MLS Superdraft pick, was signed to a contract. The hardworking Belizean forward was added as the 28^th name on the Impact roster after his strong performance in the preseason. And, he’s got some really great hair. [BREAKING BELIZE NEWS]

• Italian Football Daily just released their third instalment of their exclusive interview with Mr. Yellow himself, Marco Donadel. [ITALIAN FOOTBALL DAILY]

• "O Captain, my Captain!" Fan favorite and local boy Patrice Bernier’s season last year was a horrendous fiasco. From the injuries of old age, to the lack of playing time, to his wife utilizing social media in a failed attempt to get her partner some respect; Bernier surely was hoping that he wouldn’t have to end his career on such an off note. He hopes to have a couple more seasons in his gas tank. [SPORTSNET]

• The story of the week revolved around our prized thoroughbred Didier Drogba. The drama continues, after the rollercoaster off-season debate of "Will he stay or will he go", with the news that DD won't be playing the first few games due to turf. His hesitance when faced with the silly synthetic surface is nothing new, but the media had a heyday only made worse by how they've felt ignored by our star forward. Drogba did what he could to quell the aggressive interrogation he faced at the Press Conference on Thursday. However, nothing could stop clueless Kurtis Larson of the Toronto Sun from writing it up that the Ivorian is just a princess for being afraid of some green carpets. This is why we can't have nice things. [TORONTO SUN]

• As an added bit of entertainment, before the press conference, Drogba was joined by a couple of Italian comedians who dressed him up like a pimp and asked him for money. We need to hire an Italian translator:

• A year ago this week, we all got to live the miracle that is Cameron Porter’s right foot in the final minute of the CCL Quarterfinal v. Pachuca. Great interview with the ‘Boy From Princeton’ and video of the moment. [IMPACT MEDIA]

• We are almost ready to kick off the first weekend of MLS action in 2016. So here are a few season previews for you to completely disagree with. Where do you think the talking heads placed the Impact in their rankings?

SB Nation 2016 MLS Preview

TSN MLS First Kick 2016: Previewing Canada’s Teams

Sportsnet 2016 MLS Preview

Sports Illustrated MLS Ambition Rankings: Montreal Impact

Goal.com 2016 MLS Preview: Montreal Impact

MLSsoccer.com Armchair Analyst Montreal Impact Preview

And those, ladies and gentlemen, are your weekly bites.