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Weekly Bites #2: Picky Bull Heading South to Graze on 'Real' Grass

Here are your Weekly Bites on the Impact and news around the league, including links on Didier Drogba, where to take Mauro Biello on a date, and Ambroise Oyongo's dance moves.

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Dan Kitwood/Getty Images

Every Friday/Saturday, I’ll be posting a quick recap of the previous week’s mentions of the squad and anything else Impact related. Some of you actually have to work, rather than crawl the interwebs looking for the faintest mention of Marco Donadel’s Charlie-Brown-like bad luck, or Laurent Ciman’s always-rumored-but-never-witnessed happy face. So, I do it for you.

Last week, our Impact boys walked into the home of the Vancouver Whitecaps and put on a show. In the lead up to the match, the media unanimously believed that without Drogba the Impact would be in hot water offensively. Well, with Ignacio Piatti and Dominic Oduro being fed by Harry Shipp, looks like we have little to worry about for the time being. Aside from last week's matchup, the other storylines of the past week all revolved around Didier Drogba going south to train, the solid effort last weekend, and the big test this weekend against the New York Red Bulls.

Here they are, your weekly bites:

  • Ever feel the desire to find a strong, attractive Costa Rican man? Well, look no further than Johan Venegas, who supposedly plays for the Montreal Impact. I watched the whole game last week, and didn't see him. Huh. That's why I'm passing on this quick interview with the former Alajuelense mid, so you can all get to know him before he DOESN'T plays in the match today. [KANLIFE]
  • Many Cameroonian football stars have soccer academies bearing their names back in their home country. Ambroise Oyongo has taken another route, choosing to support his other passion: dance! Great interview with the young man, as well as a voyeuristic view of the inside of my Milton Parc apartment from the rooftop across the street. [YouTube - BeInCameroon]

  • How does a hockey-town media react when another local team is having success and seeing increased viewership? Give thanks to the Habs for playing so badly! Admittedly, if I had the choice between a hockey game or a soccer match playing at the same time, and in the hockey game we are getting killed but we're holding strong in the soccer game; I'm gonna stick with soccer. However, I think that it's a little sad that we only have the capacity support one sports team at a time. Is sport fanship really a zero-sum game? Why can't people enjoy the Impact, even when the Habs are winning? The award for the best analysis of the situation goes to...[RDS]! And the worst... [Epoch Times]!
  • Here is the must read of the week. Uncle Mike put together the most thorough write up on how to be a Red Bulls fan in Montreal. Everything from how our currency works, the French/English divide, where the stadiums are and an extremely interesting section on the highlights of the cities sports and entertainment history. This is great work Mike. [Uncle Mike]
  • You know, I love Joey Saputo. That sounds really stupid, but I honestly do. He has never been an owner that simply goes through the motions, using the same sound bites and buzzwords of the day. He has always been honest, sometimes too honest, and has done everything he could to put the Impact on the map. Not to say everything has been successful. The lack of local media support is an incredibly important issue, not to mention the lack of local promotion and the weak local and regional TV contracts. Here is the love of my life, Joey Saputo, giving the city a hard time for not buying tickets (and CHEAP tickets, at that) to see a highly skilled entertaining team who is winning. Don't piss off my Joey, guys. [JdeM]
  • If you're not open to dating a Costa Rican or Joey Saputo, what about Mauro Biello? JdeM has made a nice list of his favorite spots where you can take him for a coffee or a nice meal. Swipe right for Biello guys. [JdeM]
  • Lloyd Barker was his typical self, giving a solid analysis of the Impact win last week; especially the performance by Ignacio Piatti. His pro and con lists are always on point. His con of Lucas Ontivero was particularly accurate, and disappointing at the same time. [The Gazette]
  • Another expert analysis of the Impact this week was done by none other than Noel Butler. He goes on at length about the Drogba Drama of the past few weeks, and supports the star's decision to stay off the silly synthetic green carpets. I love the guy but someone NEEDS to get him a damn editor. [TSN]
  • To highlight even more the incredible play of Piatti last weekend, MLS and Audi graced him with one of their Audi Player Index videos, showing how he cut up the Vancouver Whitecaps back line. [MLS]
  • Sacramento Republic FC players are probably losing their minds right now. DD will be heading to Sacramento to train while waiting for grass to grow north of the Great Lakes. Is there not another place that has grass, or does it have to come with very comfortable upper middleclass neighbourhoods and 12 month-summers? Here is the SRFC release on the news that a member of our livestock is heading south to find fertile grassland to graze on. [SRFC]
  • It was Didier Drogba's birthday this past week, turning the ripe old age of 38. The EPL put out a short video celebrating his cakeday and showing off some nostalgia-inducing goals from his time at Chelsea.

Drogba's #BPL highlights

Happy birthday, Didier Drogba!He could hit them...

Posted by Premier League on Friday, March 11, 2016

  • Here is your top preview for today's clash, from editor-less Noel Butler. [TSN]

And those, ladies and gentlemen, were your weekly bites.